To my baby…on your birthday..ish
It’s February 2nd, 2017, I’m sitting in my room reading about Donald Trump… and taking breaks to look at Beyoncé’s pregnancy photo shoot (TWIIINS) because we all need a little bit of brightness when everything gets a little too dark.
You’re turning 17 in 2 days. I still remember when mom and dad brought you home. I was so excited that mom let me stay home a few days from school (I think Clement was mad that he was getting outnumbered…niggas lol). One of my first memories of you is the first time mom left me alone with you…after all the people had left the house…and I gave you a lollipop because you looked like you wanted it when I was opening it. You enjoyed it but mom almost killed me when she came back in because you could have choked on it. Not a lot has changed since then apparently lol.
But you live in middle of no-where, Colorado now (I know, I know, it’s “close” to Aspen..whatever). You’re a few months away from university. You are somehow both the sweetest soul I’ve ever known and also the most militant person in our family. You remind me to care about things that I sometimes think I’m too busy to care about. You, my baby sister, are the best that humanity has to offer this planet and I fucking love you, and I trust you, and I know you’re strong enough to climb all the mountains (see what I did there… mountains… Colorado)
… anyways…
Here’s some advice from your big sister (who’s pretty clueless most of the time might I add) before you venture out into the world of pseudo-adulthood that is being a 17 year old, almost high school graduate.
Be you. You’re the only person I’ve ever known from birth to semi adulthood (well…from your adoption from Kenya but that’s a story for another day) so I hope you can trust me when I say this. You are amazing! If you want to sing, sing. If you want to weld, weld. If you want to canoe down a river, I’ll close my eyes. If you want to climb a mountain, girl just let me know, I’ll…find someone to climb it with you lol. I want you to do the things that scare the hell out of you. I want you to look at everything that is happening around you, everything that makes it hard to be who you are and choose to be authentically Denyse. Trust me, I know it’s hard sometimes. Society tries to turn you into something easy to deal with. I’ve been there. But…you will have me standing in your corner cheering you on all the way and holding your hand when you need it.
Ask questions. I know you don’t need me to tell you this because you’ve always been the annoying child with the never-ending “why this…why that”s since you learned how to speak. But I hope you stay that way. I hope that every time you see something you don’t understand, you bombard everyone around you with your “why”s. I hope that every time you see the world as different from what you think it should be, you question it. I hope that anytime someone tells you to stop asking questions because “you’re annoying. you’re too curious. you’ll never find a husband lol” you give them my address and I will…anyways this is about you.
Fight! All right…this is a big one. You can move mountains! I know that sometimes you feel that you’ve been dealt the worst of cards (you’re black, a girl, African, a foreigner, etc). But I want you to also always recognize that you have some privilege and that at times you will have blind spots. Talk to people. Listen to people. You have ears and (sometimes less importantly) you have a voice. I hope you use that voice to fight for yourself and everyone like you. I hope you also use your ears and that voice to fight for others whose oppression you may not relate to as easily. I hope you never lose your passion to fight for the world that you deserve to exist in. A world in which we can all live freely as who we truly are.
Love. I love you…fiercely. I hope you always love as much as you do now. That every time you see someone in need of a little love, you are there with your open heart and your terrrrible jokes lol. Anytime you forget how to love yourself, just give me a call and I will remind you that you are everything. Take care of yourself. Stay light and laugh often. Stay in awe of this world and the beings who inhabit it.
You (and Inaya) are my favourite reasons why and I will leave this world a little better for you if it’s the last thing that I do. And I know that you will too for everyone who has/will come after you.
I adore you. You are everything!! This is your world, baby girl. Happy early birthday!
Also, stay in school. Don’t do drugs. And respect your parents etc…
